I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
