U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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