My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
50% drunk capacity currently
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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