I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
