Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
