Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
