is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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