yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
