im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
