hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
