Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
