The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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