Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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