he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
