You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
