My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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