You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
