You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
