biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
