She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
