watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
