She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
