party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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