Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i've created a new STD.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
