I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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