This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
