I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
