We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
