remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
