Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
