i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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