dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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