i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Girls should come with a carfax report
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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