I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
