Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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