i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I bet he comes in French.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
