Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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