once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
