Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
