So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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