so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
