Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
