Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
