I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
