I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
