I'm eating all of the evidence.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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