and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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