Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
