and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
