just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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