no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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